The Surf School Roulette I Played in Barbados (Spoiler: I Lost)

So here’s how my “spiritual surf awakening” in Barbados actually went: I played surf school roulette. I spun the wheel, picked a random one, and boy, did it land on “NOPE.”

Chapter One: A Flyer, A Smile, and Zero Research

Me strolling down the beach with all the confidence of someone who has just seen one surf documentary. A guy with sun-bleached hair and exactly two visible teeth hands me a wrinkled flyer promising “epic waves and pro coaching.”

I ask, “How long have you guys been doing this?”

He replies, “Since this morning.”

Me: “Perfect.”

Chapter Two: Chaos in the Shallows

Let’s set the scene: 15 students. 5 boards. One instructor who was more interested in updating his Instagram than saving a flailing tourist (me). The surfboards were held together with duct tape, dreams, and what I assume was leftover boat glue.

The “lesson” went like this:

Step 1: Paddle.

Step 2: Fall.

Step 3: Get yelled at.

Step 4: Repeat until your self-worth dissolves into the Atlantic.

By the end, I had two bruised knees, one swallowed contact lens, and an existential crisis.

Chapter Three: A Redemption Story Called Surfin Barbados

I was ready to swear off surfing and go back to sipping rum punch on the shore. But a fellow beach-goer, who clearly pitied me, whispered, “Go to Surfin Barbados.”

And thank God of the earth, I did.

Surfin Barbados was everything the first place wasn’t. Organized. Friendly. Actually…qualified?

• Instructors who knew how to teach beginners
• Individual attention (shocking, I know)
• Real surfboards. Like, ones that float and aren’t biohazards
• A calm beach picked for my skill level (or lack thereof)

I actually stood up. On a wave. For longer than three seconds. I didn’t cry once.

Final Thoughts from a Humble Wipeout Veteran

If you think any surf school in Barbados will do, think again. Don’t learn the hard way....like I did..through 90 minutes of chaos, confusion, and questionable water safety.

Choose right the first time. Choose Surfin Barbados.

Or enjoy the taste of seawater. Totally your call.